There are many woman who mourn for a child they lost in pregnancy or infancy.  I lost my daughter, Martha, the day after she was born as part of a set of quadruplets.  Her brothers and sister remember her and Margaret celebrates her life as a character in her imaginary world of Margaretville.  One day, I too hope I will get to see her again.

It took me three years to even be able to think of Martha without bursting into tears.  The pain was so deep and I struggled to make sense of it all when I was left with two living children who were doing okay, one on the brink of death, and one child gone.  I did not have time to think, or process, my feeling of her death until the children were old enough not to need constant care.  Waking up each day was so hard back then. I missed Martha when I looked into Margaret’s face.  I would often think about how things would have been different if Martha had lived.

It has been a decade and I still miss her.  With time, the ache of her loss has lessened but she is still on my mind and each October I get to share Martha’s story with anyone who is interested in reading about her life. Though I did not get to hold her long in my arms, the impact she and her sibling have made in my life has pushed me to study special education law.  That, in turn, has allowed me to help so many others.

To those of you that have experienced the loss of a child in pregnancy or in infancy I am sorry for your loss.  Please know we are thinking of you and your precious child during our October remembrance. May you know peace one day. <3